Obstructive Sleep Apnea | 28th December 2014 (23:59)

Ever get that feeling, when you’re just about to nod off, that you’re falling? One minute you’re relaxed, about to shut down for six to eight hours, depending on whether the bin man wakes you or not and the next, you’re falling from the Empire State Building. You wake with a start and you know you’re in bed, sometimes, at worst, you’re sprald out on the floor having fallen a foot out of bed. But nothing more, you’re safe.

Having sleep apnea is like that sensation, only rather than falling, you stop breathing. Just for a second and then you wake up with a start, a deep gulp and you’re back.

I’ve suffered from it for the last year and two months. Not every time I go to sleep, but a lot.

It normally happens just after I’ve fallen asleep, about five to ten minutes into the night. I breath gently and then I sputter before stopping my breathing altogether. On the recordings this normally lasts about six seconds before I wake up, gasping for breath. It’s like I nearly die every time I sleep.

Recently I went to a sleep therapist and asked for their advice. Their genius idea; record me. They suggested that the subconscious part of me that was causing my issues might remain aware of the video cameras and I would be able to get a normal night sleep.

I was to film myself for a month, every night once I was ready for bed. I wish I never watched the tape back.

The Executive Room | 27th December 2014 (23:59)

Mr C.E.O. sat in his large black leather chair. He twisted the chair left, he twisted the chair right, he flicked the hydraulic lift and sunk down so his eyes peeked just above his bronze studded mahogany desk. He lifted his ass off of the chair and pulled the leaver again so that the chair rose up. He sat back down and span around once more and looked out at the Hollywood hills. Behind the city haze, the sign was barely visible.

“Ok,” he said into the intercom. “Send him in.” Mr C.E.O. Knew that this wouldn’t be good.

“Sir,” said Jenson as he came in. “It’s not good.”

“I knew that much, Jenson!”

“Sir, it’s worse than that. We’re dry. We’re empty. We’ve got nothing left.”

“How can that be?”

“Sir, it’s been a long time coming,” said Jenson taking a seat opposite the desk. “We’ve remade all the remakes, rebooted franchises, ripped off every Shakespeare piece, and then remade those. There’s no young adult books that we haven’t had a crack at – several times… Everything successful we have squeezed dry and killed. We’ve even ruined James Bond! The franchise that can be redone and redone – we’ve killed it, sir. It’s over.” Jenson slammed his head onto the desk and began to sob.

“Well then Jenson, I guess it’s time.” Mr C.E.O. stood and went over to the wall. He took down a framed painting of some warm beach somewhere and let it fall to the floor. Hidden behind, within a small recess was a large red button. “It’s been a pleasure working with you, Jenson, you fool.”

“And you, Sir,” replied Jenson between sobs.

Mr C.E.O. Raised his hand and slammed his chubby forefinger onto the button. And with that, Hollywood was shut down, and the tyrannical rule of the Producers came to an end.

Creativity was allowed to live again.

Banned For Life | 25th December 2014 (23:59)

“Why the fuck are you using my camera?!”

“Oh, sorry I thought it would be ok?”

“Well it’s bloody well not!”

“Well I won’t use it again then.”

“No, you won’t. You’re banned for life.”

“Fine, but you can’t ask me to take a picture ever again!”

“Oh sorry, I meant to say from, not for. You’re banned from life. I’m going to kill you.”

A Look Back | 22nd December 2014 (23:59)

“It is believed that this is what humans called “trees”. Although now extinct, the tree was a beautiful and diverse member of the Eco system and its demise can often be attributed to the eradication of homospaiens on Earth. Incidentally, historic fossil evidence strongly suggests that it was actually the later generational humans who caused the destruction of so many of these beautiful organic beings that in turn led to the homosapiens being wiped from the face of the Earth. Originally up to 100 foot tall in some species, the tree was an incredible sight to see. Now, like this one, they rarely grow tall than three foot. It is believed that by the end of the century, they will be all gone and the Earth will never see life again.

That gentlemen, as the people of Earth would say, is why I propose to save the planet. And it would be relatively cheap to do.”

“What’s in it for us?” Asked the big grey blob that presided over the council.

“Well you’d be saving an entire planet and it is my hope, my belief that we may even be able to reintroduce humans that were bred in captivity back onto the planet. We could restart.”

“Will it make money?”

“Probably not,” said Alex with the bitter taste of honesty on his tongue.

“We’re not really looking for a charity investment right now. Please leave.”

Picture Perfect | 21st December 2014 (23:51)

“A bit more to the right right,” my daughter said to me.
“You you sure, pumpkin?”
“Daddy, of course I’m right!” She always knows what to say to make me smile. She’s knows I’m upset, I’m always upset on this day.

I step back and look at the painting, the left hand side is slightly higher than the right but it’s good enough and I’m not going to change it in front of Frankie, she’d never let me. “Thanks for that, honey.”

“That’s ok. Daddy, who is the picture of.”

“That’s your mummy, that’s my favourite picture of her. You were there then too, but you were only little.”

“I don’t remember that,” she said. The innocence of the world expressed in her voice.

“Well, you were only very little so that’s ok. I very nearly didn’t get this picture actually. I was going to go back to the car to get my phone but your mummy convinced me to leave it. I’m glad I did. She was always right, your mum,” I face her and she looks a little sad without her mum now. I always feel guilty talking about her because I know Frankie is losing memory of her fast. I don’t want her hating me for remembering the woman who have her life. The love of my life. “I bit like someone else I know,” I say as I start to tickle her.

Based on HDHC Photography

Heartbeat | 18th December 2014 (23:59)

Thump thump. Thump thump what makes us alive?
Thump thump. Thump thump is it our hearts, beating?
Thump thump. Thump thump or the blood that it pumps?
Thump thump. Thump thump is it our brans who regulate the heart?
Thump thump. Thump thump or the sight of a loved one that makes it skip?
Thump thump. Thump thump perhaps it’s fear, that makes it flutter?
Thump thump. Thump thump or even the body that protects if?
Thump thump. Thump thump is it our superior intellect?
Thump thump. Thump thump or is it a greater being?
Thump thump. Thump thump or maybe it’s all just a computer game that someone else is playing?
Thump thump. Thump thump or, perhaps none of us ever really live?
Thump thump. Thump thump

Bigfoot of the Tundra Part 2 | 17th December 2014 (22:51)

Young Ronald fled from the town as soon as he was old enough. He did not say good bye to his parents, who were often as bad as the bullies from school, and he had no friends to bid farewell to, the bullies saw to that. So Ronald left one night, and he was never seen near his home town again.

For years after, Ronald, not trusting society to bully him wherever he went, lived in woodland, and scrubland, and mountain ranges and back to woodlands. Anywhere and everywhere that he could roam free and unmolested was his home. He learnt how to hunt from watching the city slickers from afar, learnt how to warm himself and how to cook the food he caught. The only thing he never did do, was learn to shave.

As he roamed from place to place, Ronald became haired and hairier. He became more menacing and aggressive and ape like. He was a beast before his 25th birthday. Seven long years in the wild, seven blistering hot summers as he swam in streams and hunters with bears and seven bitterly cold winters where he foraged for food with the wolves and hid in unoccupied caves and burrows at night.

Before long, Ronald was dead, and in his place, the true Bigfoot had taken his place.

With language no longer to his memory, at 25 years old, Bigfoot was a grunting shuffling mess. Hunters shot at him, if ever they were lucky enough to stumble across him, tourists and ramblers would run in fear if their paths ever crossed. He was alone and yearned for company.

A chance meeting in the summer of 1976, found the animal that had once answered to Ronald, stumble across a young couple, sunbathing by a shallow pond. As Bigfoot watched them, he saw that they were very much in love, with their bodies glistening from their afternoon swim, they lay dosing as the sunlight shone off their youthful faces. Bigfoot watched them for a while, the young woman especially, the bounds of her breasts and the curve of her hips enticed him. He was acutely aware of the smoothness beneath her bikini bottoms, a curiosity arose in him.

After a time, when he was sure that they would not hear his approach, he made his way to the clearing where the young couple soaked up the rays. A smile on both of their faces.

Bigfoots shadow fell on them, and it wasn’t long before their eyes flickered open, looking to the clouds, wondering why their fun had ceased. Once adjusted, their eyes met Bigfoots. He had only eyes for the beauty that had found her way into his summer woods, until the man she was with screamed at the site of Bigfoot.

Bigfoot turned to face the screaming man who’s lungs must have been on fire. He recognised the screamer immediately.

His old bully, once upon a time, the boy.

Bigfoot roared, as the animals had taught him, he reared, high, high, higher. He was angry and was distraught. He was ready for murder. His heart raced in his chest, the thundering of that muscle against rib cages was deafening.

The Ring Road | 16th December 2014 (23:59)

A thousand hunks of metal, chugging out burnt fossil smoke, melting ice caps and allowing their drivers to get fat with disgrace. Tail to bumper, bumper to tail, no one could move.

Drivers were asleep at the wheel, but for once it didn’t matter, there was nowhere to go. Pizza and Chinese food and curry and Thai food were all ordered to cars, the drivers not able to move away from their precious cars.

Future Moments | 14th November 2014 (22:55)

I want to spend a warm summers die, lying on some quiet beech reading in the afternoon shade, the sun fluttering through the leaves over the trees and both of us there together, but lost within our own books. All except from my right hand, which plays with the small of your back, making your skin tingle and a smile light up your beautiful face. I want you to get bored of reading, pull of your towel and drag me with both hands into the sea where we swim around and tell one another how much in love we are whilst the sun warms us and the cool sea water makes us forget about everyone and everything other than us. I want to clamber out of the sea, throw ourselves down on our towels and let the sun dry us off as you rest your head in my lap and we make plans for the evening.

I want that to be a snap shot of our life together. A single day, a few short hours which, although perfect, become lost within the countless moments of the same, the better!

I can’t promise that I’m not going to annoy you my darling. I can promise you that I will love you forever.

Happy Birthday | 13th December 2014 (23:59)

Congratulations on your birthday. 21! You are a woman now. Keys to the house and ready to look after yourself, all on your own. I love you my daughter, I hope you have a wonderful day.

I wish I could hear my dad speak those words, not just read his handwritten note.