The Woman

The woman gazed longingly out of her window, overlooking the neighbours gardens with their greener grass and more beautiful families. There was something picturesque about her with the sun gently breaking the cloud cover as her eyes cast over the lives of others.

Her long, thick dress covered the frumpiness that had begun to set in at her age. It was hot as hell under all the layers but it suited the tone in which she was due to return.

She had expected to live a life of deviance, that part was not surprising. She had never expected normality, but now, as she looked onto the nicer lives of her mirrored self, she longed for someone to call hers, somewhere to call her own. All she ever got was heartbreak and disappointment. Again, here, now, this was no different. 2015 could not provide her with a love, with a life, only a few short happy years before it was ripped from her yet again.

Perhaps 1878 could give her something that not other century had yet gifted her. Perhaps she would find herself looking out of another window, longing for more than her lot. Perhaps she would never find the one.

The Last 8 Months…

Hello,

Sorry that I have been away for so long. I’ve been working hard on other things, namely my new novel; set in an alternative present day, the story is told by an unnamed, un-gendered business person, who begins to face an ever increasingly, overtly-violent society that is determined to end the segregation between ‘Dreamers’* and the normal people they look down upon. I’m still working through the kinks as I get the first draft down on paper but I’m looking forward to finding out how it will end.

I have been honoured this month with being published on a terrific London based design magazine’s website. Their aim is to produce a large catalogue of creativity for people to explore. They are working with some truly talented creators and I am thrilled to have been given the opportunity to contribute. You can check out one of the three stories that I created for them here; Parasite.

I’ve also been splitting my time working on a few collaboration pieces with artists and friends. This is something that i’m really keen on doing more of so if anyone is interested in working on a creative piece together, do get in touch. My email address can be found on the left hand side or on the contact page.

A huge thanks needs to be given to Rhiannon Brackpool who reworked the blog layout into the beauty you now see.

I’m planning (hoping) to get more of a regular blog update going with short stories, general writing updates and, if i ever get my arse into gear, details of a collection of short stories that I am looking to pull together. Oh, also, here’s a picture that I took the other week.

Until the next time,
Harry

*working title

The Continuing Adventures of Dr. Zest – The Pulp Part 1

In the dankness of the empty warehouse, the officers gathered. With the long cold smelting machinery looming around them like machines of war and the drip drip drip of some far off leak, their surroundings made their meeting all the more bleak. From the ceiling hung rusting chains and the floor was spotted with rust brown puddles. Gravel crunched under the uneasy feet of the newbies and cigarette smoke fumed from the nostrils of the more grizzled serving men. They’d seen far too many crime scenes to be squeamish now.

DCI Bude was sucking on the last of his own cigarette, when a junior constable trotted over to him and mumbled that the man they had been waiting for had arrived. Bude nodded, rolling his eyes and, flicking his cigarette into a nearby puddle. He turned on his heels and walked towards the large shutter doors which were raised, revealing the cold morning sun and, standing as a silhouette, Dr. Zest. 

Bude ran a hand over his thick brush of a moustache before extending it towards Zest as the two came close. 

The doctor looked somewhat disapprovingly at the extended hand and, keeping his own hands firmly in the pockets of his long tailcoat said, “What have we got this time, Bude? Is it the same as the others?” He had a deep voice that came from deep within his soul. Graceful, yet menacing, his eyes saw more than most. Everyone knew his real skill lay elsewhere however.

Bude sunk his hand back into his pocket and pulled out another cigarette, refusing to make eye contact with the Dr. as he did so. He flicked a match and lit the gasper before he replied. “Looks like it,” he took a long deep drag, blowing the smoke through pursed lips. “He was found this morning,” Bude said, pointing with the cigarette towards the officers. “Over there.”

Dr. Zest picked up his pace and left Bude to fall behind.

Bude watched as the officers parted, revealing the crumbled body of the young dock worker to Zest. 

Bude knew that what the Doctor was now seeing was the same horrific site that had greeted the officers not an hour before, and which the kids from the local estate had stumbled across this morning. They were not going to be OK for a long time, seeing a dead body was bad enough, let alone one with the victim’s throat ripped out. 

It was the third victim in as many weeks. Zest had worked on similar cases before and he had always helped them with a conviction, Bude despised the man, but he trusted him, trusted his senses. He gave the Doctor some time to inspect the body, finishing his cigarette and flicking it away again before stepping in line with the other officers. 

“What do you reckon then Doc?” Bude asked. 

“Well, before you came over and completly masked the smell that I had distinguished with that vile habit of yours, I’d say that we’re looking for the same person as the others.”

“How the bloody hell can he tell that?” Muttered one of the lesser experienced uniformed men, a little too loudly. It wasn’t uncommon for people, civilians and officers a like to be skeptical of Zest’s abilities, until he had seen in work, Bude didn’t believe it himself, but it was a mistake to ever question its existence within the presence of Zest himself. He carried a wicked temper that now raised its head. 

“I can tell that, boy, because some of us are more gifted and far more observant than others. If you care to question the skills to which I utilize for the benefit of, primarily, an incompetent police force, not to mention for the greater good of my fellow citizens, I may be so inclined take my services elsewhere.” The young officer shut up after that. “What we are looking for, gentleman, is an orange eater. That is to say, whoever murdered this young man, and the others, and most likely more if you do not get out and bring the cruel soul in, enjoys an orange shortly before committing these atrocious crimes.” 

Dr. Zest eyed the crowd, holding the stare of those he knew had little regard to his skills. “Trust me,” he said. “I have a gift,” he continued, tapping the end of his nose. 

End of Part 1

The Morality of Arthur Crimson

Not for the first time that night, Arthur Crimson asked himself just what the hell it was he thought he was doing.

The first time he had uttered those words was as he strode over to the pretty girl at the bar and asked to buy her a drink; this after just one pint. A bold feat for a man of his character, one that usually, severely lacked in anything that could be argued as confidence, not that he would be one for arguing but that is beside the point.

Two drinks later, some clumsy flirting and, completely by surprise, Arthur found himself naked in her bedroom, awaiting her return from ‘freshening up’. If he had known talking to girls was this easy, we would not have remained a virgin until he was 23, that’s for sure. He was practically shaking with excitement. This was not advantageous for keeping his little man alert so he proceeded to search the room for a distraction from the excitement of seeing a real life woman naked, an attractive one at that.

This woman was a minimalist, no ornaments, a few perfumes and nail varnishes dotted around. And a single photo frame. The gorgeous (hopefully naked) blonde in the bathroom, affectionally kissing an equally handsome man. He was one of those guys that even guys had to admit was good looking. Curious, Arthur picked up the photo, examining it closer, hoping that it was a photo of her parents, or perhaps a dead lover. He could handle dead lover, sure it was baggage, but who didn’t have baggage?

As he raised the frame, a simple glass and silver piece, the true beauty coming solely from the subjects of the photo it held, he heard the soft clink of metal against glass. He looked down and on the side, previously hidden by the frame was the unmistakable circle. A wedding ring of fine platinum.

Arthur’s little man stood at ease.

Just then, as though she had waited for him to find the evidence of her adultery, the beautiful blonde emerged. To ‘freshen up’ she had removed every inch of clothing. All except, Arthur was please to see, her stockings, which stopped at her thighs in a lace trim, and her black stilettos which made her legs look even more incredible. She leant against the door frame, not in a ‘I’m shy and do not wish to engage in life’ way that he had seen in so many of his other partners, but in a way that suggested thatif he didn’t fuck her right now, she might just collapse from her urges.

He licked his lips and she turned. Turned around. Very slowly. Letting Arthur’s eyes absorb every inch of her fine, tight skin. Facing him again she ran her index finger over her bright red lips, parting them slightly before allow it to slide down her neck, over the edge of breasts, down her midriff, to her hips and then further. Further down.

Arthur took a step towards her, slowly, as though she were prey that might run at any sudden movement. His eyes broke their feast of her beautiful body and flickered to the photo frame which he still held in his hands, to the wedding ring on the bedside table, to her eyes, to her breasts.

He asked himself just what the hell it was he thought he was doing.

And then he told himself to shut the fuck up.

Forbidden Island | 30th December 2014 (23:59)

There is an island lost to the modern world. Deep within a maze of rocky outlets this large forest laden land has never seen any inhabitant other than the indigenous peoples. Anyone who tries to make contact with them are chased offshore, attacked and, those not quick enough, are eaten. The last remnants of the ancient world, lost to the modern one.

Continue reading Forbidden Island | 30th December 2014 (23:59)

Football Hooligans | 29th December 2014 (23:49)

Th title decider. The last game of the year and two recently rekindled rivalries are going to head in my own home town nonetheless.

It’s going to be bloodshed, if the old guards stories are true. Fighting on the street, blood gushing down the faces of men, young and old alike. Carnage. Just like the good old days, so I’m told. When the match was just another round of the fight. Where the beatings in some tight alley, he cobbled stones and rough brick walls was where the real winners were founded.

I get there early, to the ground. I wait in the car park, a strip of piping hidden up my sleeve. The ground, resting on the hillside is a magnificent site.

I wait there a long while before I see some of the old guard. Skinheads then by choice, now by mother natures cruel humour they march together across the car park. I step in line. They do not notice me, I am just another ace among the crowd. We walk, in my mind march, right up to the opposition. Their kit colours so different to ours. They are targets.

The man I presume to be our leader quickens his pace as the rest fall in behind. He walks up to their leader, a man of similar stature. Our leader puts out a hand in front of him. And shakes the hand of their leader.

Then they hug. Old school friends greeting each other before the game. Ribbing each other about their teams poor form.

Football hooliganism isn’t what it used to be.

Obstructive Sleep Apnea | 28th December 2014 (23:59)

Ever get that feeling, when you’re just about to nod off, that you’re falling? One minute you’re relaxed, about to shut down for six to eight hours, depending on whether the bin man wakes you or not and the next, you’re falling from the Empire State Building. You wake with a start and you know you’re in bed, sometimes, at worst, you’re sprald out on the floor having fallen a foot out of bed. But nothing more, you’re safe.

Having sleep apnea is like that sensation, only rather than falling, you stop breathing. Just for a second and then you wake up with a start, a deep gulp and you’re back.

I’ve suffered from it for the last year and two months. Not every time I go to sleep, but a lot.

It normally happens just after I’ve fallen asleep, about five to ten minutes into the night. I breath gently and then I sputter before stopping my breathing altogether. On the recordings this normally lasts about six seconds before I wake up, gasping for breath. It’s like I nearly die every time I sleep.

Recently I went to a sleep therapist and asked for their advice. Their genius idea; record me. They suggested that the subconscious part of me that was causing my issues might remain aware of the video cameras and I would be able to get a normal night sleep.

I was to film myself for a month, every night once I was ready for bed. I wish I never watched the tape back.
Continue reading Obstructive Sleep Apnea | 28th December 2014 (23:59)

The Executive Room | 27th December 2014 (23:59)

Mr C.E.O. sat in his large black leather chair. He twisted the chair left, he twisted the chair right, he flicked the hydraulic lift and sunk down so his eyes peeked just above his bronze studded mahogany desk. He lifted his ass off of the chair and pulled the leaver again so that the chair rose up. He sat back down and span around once more and looked out at the Hollywood hills. Behind the city haze, the sign was barely visible.

“Ok,” he said into the intercom. “Send him in.” Mr C.E.O. Knew that this wouldn’t be good.

“Sir,” said Jenson as he came in. “It’s not good.”

“I knew that much, Jenson!”

“Sir, it’s worse than that. We’re dry. We’re empty. We’ve got nothing left.”

“How can that be?”

“Sir, it’s been a long time coming,” said Jenson taking a seat opposite the desk. “We’ve remade all the remakes, rebooted franchises, ripped off every Shakespeare piece, and then remade those. There’s no young adult books that we haven’t had a crack at – several times… Everything successful we have squeezed dry and killed. We’ve even ruined James Bond! The franchise that can be redone and redone – we’ve killed it, sir. It’s over.” Jenson slammed his head onto the desk and began to sob.

“Well then Jenson, I guess it’s time.” Mr C.E.O. stood and went over to the wall. He took down a framed painting of some warm beach somewhere and let it fall to the floor. Hidden behind, within a small recess was a large red button. “It’s been a pleasure working with you, Jenson, you fool.”

“And you, Sir,” replied Jenson between sobs.

Mr C.E.O. Raised his hand and slammed his chubby forefinger onto the button. And with that, Hollywood was shut down, and the tyrannical rule of the Producers came to an end.

Creativity was allowed to live again.

Things You Should Never Hear At Christmas | 26th December 2014 (23:59)

1) “Slap the Monkey” “I thought it was spank the monkey?” – from your mum and nan
2) “The Turkey – it’s burnt!”
3) “oh, is that all I’ve got?”
4) “it’s ok, I’ll just get something I want in the sales.”
5) “We’re not going to celebrate Christmas next year, we’re thinking of becoming Mormons and want everyone to join us in our new practice. What’s that? No, they’ll be no presents from us I’m afraid kids.”
Continue reading Things You Should Never Hear At Christmas | 26th December 2014 (23:59)

Banned For Life | 25th December 2014 (23:59)

“Why the fuck are you using my camera?!”

“Oh, sorry I thought it would be ok?”

“Well it’s bloody well not!”

“Well I won’t use it again then.”

“No, you won’t. You’re banned for life.”

“Fine, but you can’t ask me to take a picture ever again!”

“Oh sorry, I meant to say from, not for. You’re banned from life. I’m going to kill you.”